My kiss in the rain

It rained today, it is actually raining as I type. Why does rain in here has to be so unpredictable, as well as my thoughts are?... as his changing mind is too. It confuses me... the power he has over me. Not only does it confuse me, it scares me to the point of desperation. As the sound of rain continued to fill my thoughts, I couldn't help it, I couldn't get rid of that flashback, a clear image of the past, of the life I didn't want to give up on. A perfect day. It was as if I were there again, living through that moment. I could even feel the water down my hair and past my body. I could smell him again, I felt his hair in my hands again and his body pressing against mine. This mental picture... why does it has to be so sharp and so painful to watch? I even tasted his lips, once again. I find it really hard, and scary getting to know someone so deeply, and letting them get to you even deeper. So many memories created between us two, how will i ever get rid of them? eventhough they might've been good, I don't want them, for I can not bare remembering them, living through them. I want to let them loose, to give them away, and watch them dissappear as I let go. It is hardly possible, though, when every song, every movie, even the weather reminds you of such pain, of every inside joke. I'm just wishing right now I could forget of that kiss. Our kiss. The one in the rain