Sometimes i wonder if you're happy with who you are, if you really feel good as you appear to feel or if you're just a lonely, heartless human being, incapable of feeling something other than the need to impress as many persons as possible and who finds himself succumbing inevitably to the pressures of society, transforming then, into a phony being who doesn't know who he is and whose happiness consists on the number of persons he can convince of liking him rather than the amount of love he could ever have for himself.

I feel you falling for me; deeper everytime

I am past the crying stage now, and if someone ever reads it, i'll need some answers.. i need to know i'm not alone and that someone else actually has gone through what i'm going lately.

Okay, so it was him!! i swear it was.. he was the one! and then, he just took a swing (something i've been through before) and it had never hurt that much, but it's fine. i didn't cry yesterday and neither have i cried today.. now, that's something, isn't it? and why have i been better these last days? cause i'm hopeful he'll change his mind. but is the situation hopeless? somehow i think he's gonna want to take me back.. something i shouldn't be thinking about, because "expectation's the root of all heartache" - william shakespeare. and if the thought of him wanting me back eventually is just helping me get through these close days, but it's gonna make me hurt even more in the long run when i discover he's actually moving on, should i continue to feed these stupid hopes?

Has it happened to you that you don't want to get over someone (like a state of mind) just because you really liked that person and because what you had was unique and you think it'd unfair just to forget it all?

Someone just answer this question: Am i going to be able to stop crying?

I've been looking for some anger, some madness.. and all i could ever find was peace

Mientras delineabas el contorno de mis labios con tu dedo, dibujando cada beso que recibí en estos dos años de altibajos y dolor, de discusiones y felicidad, de risas y llantos, de luz y oscuridad. Lo vi. Vi ese amor que nunca pudiste demostrar y que pocas veces se pudo manifestar. Vi ese compromiso que no quisiste, razón por la que lo nuestro tuvo que terminar. Vi finalmente las estrellas en tus ojos que el dia de ayer solo en los mios se podían notar ¿y porqué hasta ahorita? Me debería preguntar. Sin embargo me encarcelo y pienso "me tengo que aguantar" esperaré tu regreso, aunque se que algunas más te tendrán allá. Me esperaré a tus besos y no los supliré con los de alguien más, alguien que no me sepa dar lo que me das tú. ¿Y qué es eso? Si no te supiste comprometer y porqué esperar? si probablemente regresarás a ser él, el mismo de ayer. ¿Porqué me atengo a tu regreso y me adueño de esta cárcel mental? la cual yo cree, a la cual no quiero nunca soltar.

How many times can I break til' I shatter?

I dreamt i was hiding at my place, because armed people were surrounding everything I know. Everything I AM. So there I was, at my restroom, with one of my sisters, the engines to my life. And suddenly they were there.. at our home too. We could hear them destroying everything we've grown along with, just tearing it to pieces... like if it was of no worth... although they were behind me, and I'm not sure why, they couldn't get to me, they actually left. I was so anxious to get out and see the mess they'd left me with, and then I woke up. Just like that. But what could this mean? Could the house have represented myself.. who i am..? and if it did, why am I being destroyed and by whom? And like in my dream, can I wake up from it all? Just like that?